just like you

I used to be thoughtful

but now i am just like you.

I used to be encouraging

but now i am just like you.

I used to be good at calling

but now i am just like you.

I used to be good at sending funny or encouraging cards

but now i am just like you.

I used to be good at texting good morning

but now i am just like you.

I used to be good at responding to your facebook status updates

but now i am just like you.

I used to leave voicemails wishing you a great day or a great weekend

but now i am just like you.

I used to be helpful

but now i am just like you.

I used to be good at coming to your aid

but now I am just like you.

***

I used to be all about other people

but now i am just like you.

Now, I'm all about myself.

just like you.

/  (rant- follow

-ing )

I used to be that guy that volunteered  to help people move before they even asked my assistance,

All they had to do was to say that they were moving and before I realized it I'd open my big mouth and offer my services- for free, no matter how much of an inconvenience it was, despite the fact that every single time I've moved I have had to beg and still I had to pay for movers at the last minute because no one ever showed up.  Every single time.

You're stressed out because of work or school or some other personal drama? While shopping I found cards that would make you smile and I'd mail them to you. Don't bother to call me to tell me that you loved the cards or anything or that you even received them. Not once.
Your son, daughter, nephew, or niece needs someone to complete a survey for school or you need for me to vote for them? Ask me, I'd gladly do it, and I did it right away. I used to be that guy that bought boxes and boxes of girl scout cookies when friends would tell me their daughter was selling them (and I can't stand stand them things ) but when I'm offering my short stories for sale at 99 cents a fucking download  on amazon I can't even get 3 people to download one of them. 

I'm a cook, and baker. You tell me you love cake, cupcakes or pies? I'd find out your favorite kind and I bake it for you for free. I put it in a pretty box, tie a purple ribbon around the box and drive all the way to the other side of town and deliver it to your house. Fresh from the oven, on your birthday or for Christmas Eve so that you can share it with your family and friends for free,  and I can't even get a birthday call at the very least. And I have to treat myself to breakfast lunch dinner and a movie for my birthday.

It's Christmas? Let me spend an hour calling each loved one to personally tell them Merry Christmas. You're not available and I get a voice mail? Ok, I'll leave a message. Do you ever call back? No. 
Your full time job was reduced to parttime and you got evicted from your apartment and need a place to stay for a couple months? You can sleep on my sofa for as long as you need. You don't even have to ask. I insist on being the one to help you. A year later you finally get back on your feet and move out. You have a party to celebrate your new job and you don't invite me, who fed you and gave you lodging?

Your mom or dad or sibling or your dog  is very ill and you need a shoulder to cry on? Here's my shoulder. Cry all you want. I'll periodically make calls and follow up to see how they're doing. But when my pet is very very ill you don't even bother to follow up to see how she's doing.

You need someone to talk to at 2 in the morning ? Don't hesitate to call me. I'll see your name on my caller id and I'll answer it on the second ring, but when I'm stranded in a blizzard and the tow truck would tow my car to some mechanic shop but wouldn't drive me beyond the mechanic shop to my home, I can't reach you because you turn your ringer off at 10 o'clock.

For your birthday, I've traveled across the country and surprised you by showing up at your door with a dozen long-stemmed roses and have had to stand and wait, with the roses in my arms, for 30 minutes because when I showed up you were in the middle of church-gossiping with a friend on the phone and you don't like to be interrupted.

I aint doing shit. Anymore. 

I'm gonna be just like you. (and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and-

I won't bring this to your attention. You'll deny it.

I'll just be quiet about it.

need someone to help you do something?

Don't call me.
imma be just like you


I'm not initiating another damn act of kindness. Intentional or ramdom.
I'm only gonna respond to it,
which won't occur.


you'll see a change in me.


you're stranded and no one can rescue you?
don't call me. \
need someone to talk to?
I'll call back, weeks, maybe even a month later, when it's convenient.

 

(and if you ask why you haven't heard from me lately, read this poem)

Alexgeorge