where

Your love once
overwhelmed me

made me laugh

giggling nervously

so deep inside

internal

close

anticipating

bleeding though me/

(    it would   

   ) leaving scars

made me cry

when I stood my ground

you walked away

taking with you

my love

where did you go with it

used to make me laugh

I'm alone now

I think I even miss the things you did that made me put up with you

(where's a blues song—

 when you need one?)

Why

where did you go

with my love in one hand
 

your fist in the other?

--alexgeorge

Beautiful Thangs

 

instead

of being pulled

down

by

the weight of pollution

jobs

bills

people-

close the door.

turn off the lights

close the curtains

don’t look out the window

remember

b4

when we were startled

away

from what made our hearts break

?

a kiss from u

is a thousand tiny suns going off

on each strand of hair

each limb

each finger-

tip

a-

gain;

what made us new

make us new again

lets talk about think about

beautiful things

beautiful thoughts

u

thoughts me

us & we

lets talk about think about

what i find in u

and u

in me.

close the door

&

Talk about

Think about

Those tiny suns

--alexgeorge

soultight

While there are those
who,
without thinking,
will gladly lift both hands
to help someone in need,
there are those
who
will bearly lift a finger
(the middle one)
&
those are the relatives

--alexgeorge

the yes

the goal:
your smile is
very like
words to a song

existing
in languages
other than english

can be sung
you know the meaning
&
u smile

keys materializing
fitting
doors opening

light
scattered throughout the darkness
collected


as
I keep on singing
learning the secrets of u

The Last Thing She Said

She said she won't take anymore shit
Off one more nigga/
Got herself a pistol
She's ready to pull the trigger/
Will not give another man
A chance/
I took her to a dance/
She ran into her ex/
Who gave her the best sex.
He used to rock her world
But he was with another girl.
She saw them standing there
And she didn't even care.
I said, "don't bother him.
She said, "but I love him.
My heart's beating so fast.
And I said,

but didn't you tell me
he used to beat your ass?
She said, "but I love him without a doubt.
And I said, " but didn't he knock your teeth out?
She said, "but I love him til the day I die,
And I said, " but didn't he give you a black eye?
She said, "but I love him. He makes my heart race.
And I said, " but didn't he carve that scar across your face?
She said, "but I love him. He makes me weak at the knees.
And I said, " but didn't he give you that sexually transmitted disease?
She said, "but I love him. This nigga is heaven sent!
And I said, " but didn't he lock you out of your own apartment, where you pay the rent?
She said, "but I love him, this aint no joke.
And I said, " but didn't he pimp your 14 year-old daughter just to get some coke?
She said, "but I love him. What are you stressing me for?
And I said, " but didn't he fracture your jaw?
She said, "but I love him. What part don't you understand?
And I said, " but didn't you catch him in bed with another man?
Then she said something stupid.
"But I love him."
(may she rest in peace)

--alieux casey-george

For a friend of mine who passed away in 1994. The last time I saw her alive was the only time she didn't have a black eye.

Necessary

if love

came knocking on my door

i would not

recognize it

            &     it might come in,

under the guise of something else,

a million a thousand a hundred and one times

somehow knowing what I find appealing

in words and deeds-

i receive her words

like that insurance salesperson with her foot

in the door before

you shut it.

was it the look of desperation that they saw?

&

if  love

came knocking on my door

i would not

recognize it

            &     it might come in,

under the guise of something else

not well-meaning:

something

i might be convinced i needed.

a dream

reaching with the outstretched hand

for that which probably

did not exist

but anyway, reaching, grasping

something with the substance

equal to air

always:

invisible

but heavy

under the weight of something artificial or lacking in value or importance

to make one think that's all there is:

consciousness.

to be honest .

but i'm told it /love

is available to anyone who asks for it.

true?

if so, then where are you?

see me waving my arms?

--alexgeorge

30 MPH

U said my way of loving was slow

 2 slow,

 but

my speed allows me

2 see your issues (if u have any)

 determine your lies (if u tell any)

 n their early stage of development

slowly rearing your ugly head (if u have one)

sprouting like weeds;

 there'd be no need 2 come 2 an abrupt stop.

 I can easily decide if I should leave

B4 they take root in me.

 No need 2 rush if we're meant 2b…

No need 2 rush if u're meant 4 me.

The Effects Of him

1962.
him;

don't forget the bottles
of muscatel clanking
empty

in yards of broken champagne flute glasses
and lost memories of celebratory toasts;
empty.
slobbering stammering and stuttering a language;
the C' word.
in a pitch low enough that only other alcoholics can interpret.
in a pitch high enough that only other dogs can hear.


brought into this world in handcuffs,
still I stutter;
a life in restraints.
shy by history.

(begins with a C')

him;
This giant of a man. At five feet seven.

Back in the 50's
(he,
who has been found drunk,
in ditches in Memphis)

1969
Don't bother mom;
She's busy doing twice what you're too drunk to do once.
work. love.
And he may hurt me even more when she ain't around.
I'm no fool.
I'll be quiet

(no, not me. Him. Begins with a C')
You see,
there is history in these handcuffs.
There is pain.
the truth.
there is blood,
but there are no screams-
that's for sissies.

let's not forget the small green bottles hidden in pockets of suits and winter coats at Deliverence Evangelical Church, New York, New York:
the back turned slightly.
the contents quickly swallowed while mom obliviously praise God.
but I'm praising God too,
with one eye
and I see everything
he did.
But God is omnipotent.
Praise Him!

the clapping which was not for support. ( God,
please get me out of the audience )

The "C word.
We laugh
We cry
We're in the audience
But sis has a different interpretation of what we're both observing.
/ I must have done something wrong.
apparently I must have asked to be born
to whom I was born/
before I was born
(God, remove my restraints)
Now,
Learning everything by
Listening to big bunches of nothing
From enemies who are close friends of each other
In time of need going their separate ways after bartime,
But sister, playing with dolls in the living room says 'leave my daddy alone.'
while the back of my neck is pressed down to keep my back bent over the ironing board
as the other hand holds a thick black leather belt to slam against my naked ass
while the supremes song, 'where did our love go?' is playing on the radio,
the beat-down is only shortly interrupted by the announcement that Martin Luther King Jr was just shot..

The effects of him.
of him and those damn bottles...

&
if he stood still for a minute and listened
& watched
& cared,
he could have heard the slow seeping out of what ever volume of love my little heart contained.
I petitioned.
I begged for compassion.
In between slaps and scalding hot baths.
In between humiliation, emasculation and degradation.
Cirrhosis; that's it.
The effects of him.
slap 1 across the face back hand
2 across the face slap
3 a bath in scalding water. Steam rising off the ankles.
4 slap
5 you damn sissy slap
6 damn mama's boy slap
7 slap
8 Shut up! Don't be a sissy! Slap
9 back hand slap Be a man!
10 years old.... Applause.
And.
Curtains.
End scene...

I was brought into this world in handcuffs
1962 1972 1982 1992 1996 may he rest in peace 2000 2001 2002 2003
handcuffs still on
(where's the key?)
2004
handcuffs off
--alexgeorge

Subtle Racism

i reached.

i reached,

looking for the love I thought I had;

digging.

digging through layer upon layer of your smile

to find

Nothing;

Nothing but darkness,

and a buried

bloody

wooden cross

that continues

to

burn.

--Alexgeorge