Loving you is like a revolution

(within me

   ) a change

i can feel

but i can’t see

a movement

a revival of sorts;

slowly bringing back to life something I thought was dead

or unused for so long that it had closed up

loving you is like a revolution

a spinning around in my head

a new heart

to replace the old one that had hardened

from prolonged exposure to the cold, lies and bs and the lack of appreciation.

and suddenly I’m loving what I used to hate

and hating what I used to love

I don’t care that I’m wearing clothes I don’t like, obviously,

or spending hours with you at the mall

or going to your church

because I’m with you and loving you;

what am I doing and who is this person that made this new change?

this is not like me;

what is happening?

I know what it is-

I’m being loved and cherished and appreciated and respected in return.

(fin-

ally)

New Position

u appear to me

in my dreams

you disappear

clashing in my stubborn thoughts;

I’m

set in my ways,

but

if

you

really care

you will

dig deep

        deep enough

        deep deep enough

u will find some flexibility

in me

loving you-

I do love you.

I’m not pretending not to care.

if given another chance

i will find another way

to love you

i’ll change up

will move through

underneath the flesh of starving talk

over

through 

the movement

under

will champion the pain the fierceness the attitude the mistrust the hurt

looking

for understanding .

          to look for the love

for me

you say

exists.

i will find a new way to love you

i will find a  new position

if love

came knocking on my door
i would not
recognize it
&
it might come in,
under the guise of something else,
a million a thousand a hundred and one times
somehow knowing what I find appealing
in words and deeds-
i receive her words
like that insurance salesperson with her foot
in the door before
you shut it.

was it the look of desperation that they saw?
&
if love
came knocking on my door
i would not
recognize it
&
 it might come in,
under the guise of something else
not well-meaning:

something
i might be convinced i needed.
a dream
reaching with the outstretched hand
for that which probably
did not exist
but anyway,
reaching,
grasping
something with the substance
equal to air
always:
invisible
but heavy
under the weight of something artificial or lacking in value or importance
to make one think that's all there is:
consciousness.
to be honest .
but i'm told it /love
is available to anyone who asks for it.
true?

if so, then where are you?

see me waving my arms?
--alexgeorge

Look but don't look.

love.

love.
love!
…LOVE?
ready set
GO!
 
N


 the opposite direction
(since the other 1
isn’t working
)   the widened left eye
closed
for repairs.


Slits cut open for the right eye to breath.
to see.
the outstretched hands
heavy.
now
covering the ears
to prevent the hearing of words from both sides of the mouths of those concerned:


 Look.
  stop looking. 
Look. 
 stop looking. 
Look. 
 stop looking. 
 Look.
  stop looking. 
 Look.
stop looking.
  Look.

                                                                                     stop looking.
  Look. 

 stop looking. 

 Look.

  stop looking. 
 Look. 
 stop looking. 
 Look.
 stop looking.
  Look. 
 let it find you- be patient.
but keep looking. but stop.
                                                                      I'm concerned about you.  
                                                                      I have no one to introduce you to,
                                                                      though

keep looking.
stop.
                                                       I'm giving up on you.
                                                       you need to hurry up.
                                                       you need to put it in God's hands
                                                       you're not getting any younger
                                                       hurry up and take your time and find it



/    love.  /
not a priority any-
more
or
right now


(yes it is)

-- alexgeorge