no words

There are no words.

I can’t speak

And if I could,

then what would I say

When there are no words in the English language to accurately define you?

There are no words for you

None

Nada

Zero

Zilch.

No words for your lips

Or the movement of your hips

There are no words.

Just people/things  that are  not man-made

&  cannot be duplicated,

reminding us that there is a God.

So I’ll just be quiet

Letting Him do his work,

And  I’ll continue to be in awe--

       --alexgeorge

untitled poem

sometimes

I feel like my heart

exposed

has been picked apart.

though heavy from all the good it’s caused

-- still left out in the sun to dry up.
people will walk by the dark red pieces

stepping over them

kicking them aside

thinking they’re rocks.

but I know what it is-

what it used to be-

wrong

The definition of a fairweather friend: A friend who is only nice to you when it's convenient....

hey alieux, my friend;

(don’t expect

to have been invited

to the engagement party or the wedding

or any other past social events I might hold
or even future ones

but )
you’re a strong black man

and I need you.

to help move furniture tomorrow.

I won’t even call you to ask.

(I would feel awkward

asking you directly

since I haven’t

asked  you to do anything else, though you've been good
at leaving voicemails, facebook messages and texts- none of which I have responded to)

I’ll ask our mutual friends,
my friends-

those that were invited to the engagement party and wedding and other social events-

to ask you.

you’ll say yes to them because you’re more friends with them than with me and I've been told you're reliable.

right?

Christian Poem

I

deliberately

placed

one

error

in

thYs

poem,

because

only

God

is

perfect.

I chose the letter Y for my error because it resembles a person (Jesus) with arms spread upward.

there is poetry

in your movement:

the fluidity

of

it.

there is creative

expression

In

the way your hands your body caress the air

I watch your lips

your lips

either still

or moving,

the corners curving upwards

or straight across

making my hands my lips jealous

are you even speaking?

I can t hear you

Because I’m stuck on your lips

your hips/

how they move so unintentionally

strong but feminine

As if no one was watching

Is this what bliss feels like?

The beginnings of love

Hopefullness.

Anticipation

Of what is around the corner?

I hope

The road I’m on

Is the same road you’re on.

There is poetry.

Your words are matching mine

How did you know what I was feeling?

Your kiss is like poetry

Match the words my lips are forming-

Can u?

Pressed against yours

L o v e .

I pray

That the road I’m on

Is the same road you’re on.

-alexgeorge

(and) there you were

in my search for someone to complete me
(i prayed for you
) & in my search for that missing piece
         to the puzzle that was my life
( i prayed for you
)  beyond laughter
             happiness
             on the outside looking in
             and watching friends take for granted
             what I hold so precious
(i prayed for you
)       I am asked for advice
            what to do to fix a relationship
            what to do to maintain one
            or attain one,
            and being shown gratitude for telling and doing the right things
(i was alone, and i prayed for you
        i needed substance, and
(i prayed for you
)       not knowing that you would appear
        before me
        looking at me
        as if I were the answer to your prayers
                as well
        as you were/are to mine:
        in my search for
        someone to step up to the plate
        to, at the very least, not show indifference
        towards me
        and to care enough to want to fight for me
        though I am opposed to violence
(i prayed for you
)       & there you were,
        with someone else.
        I knew I had to fight to get you.

        I wonder why it took so long to find you?
        Was God waiting for a time in my life
        When I would appreciate you more?
        He was right.

I prayed and I prayed and I prayed and I prayed and I prayed and I prayed and I prayed  and I prayed and I prayed and I prayed and I prayed and I prayed and

here you are
(Thank You) 

-- alexgeorge

get happy

Instead of looking,
                    (and looking and looking and looking and-
                                                )

I’m going to find a way to have fun.

perhaps

someone will see me

&

will wonder

why I’m so happy

&

will want to be a part of it.

       --alexgeorge

You aint strong enough

you burn crosses

while I sleep

I don’t care,

I won’t weep.

nothing it seems,

you won’t try,

but you will not

make me cry.

see, you aint strong enough.

try to stab me

in my heart

your hatred

won’t tear

me apart.

I’ve been around,

I know the game.

hatred is hatred

by any name.

see, you aint strong enough.

despite my attempts

to live my dreams,

you try real hard

to bust the seams.

you try real hard

to show concern,

but the crosses,

I’m told,

are the crosses you’ve burned

see, you aint strong enough.

(try harder next time)

It

what have we here

(    finally   i

    have seen

the other side and the dark-

ness thereof.

of you.

there. I know you now. 'cause

i shone a flashlight. secretly-yes,

indeed a flashlight I shone.

finally.

seeing through your best disguise,

exposing what others see,

the YOU       ) well, well, well.

(     looks like the knife that was lodged in my back has your initials on it          ) my friend,

oh buddy,

oh pal,

what have we here ?

 --alexgeorge,    written when I was 16.   I found it today. How appropos, considering another backstabbing by a friend just occurred recently.

i made room

for you;

an opening
a spot
reserved for you
though you have no name yet
I made for you
in my heart/ an
open for business sign
Dangling
/ invisible
for others

for your eyes only
that you might see as your rightful place
like a thousand suns
the heat
converging into
1;
& the door is already open
you will see it
and
know.

                    --alexgeorge


--alexgeorge

sit down, but don't get comfortable

love,

now that you’re here (again, I think

) if it’s you,

then sit down,

but don’t get comfortable.

i wanna get to know you.

i wanna have a heart to heart

i wanna know if what I heard is true.

but first,

i wanna know how you found me?

i had my number changed to a non-published number.

quit my job-

gave no notice.

moved to a different country in the middle of the night-

left no forwarding address.

i even cancelled my credit cards.

i told no one.

assuming you are who you say you are,

i wanna know why u took so long to get here?

i’ve been deceived before by others

who have pretended to be love

for some personal gain

so, before I allow myself to get excited

before I wake up tomorrow morning

with you on my mind

before people tell me they see a glow about me,

understand why I’m cautious.

so,

sit down

but don’t get comfortable.

let’s have a conversation

talk to me.

and be honest.

please

--alexgeorge

Right Here

From experience,


there will always be some1
who will be taller
leaner
richer
faster
stronger
maybe even better looking than me
but I can’t be worried.
I won’t be worried.
I won’t look over my shoulder.
I know my worth;
I’m not the best,
I’m not perfect,
but you will find me doing
what others in your past have failed to do:
 striving
                always
 to be the best that I can be
to be perfect
for you.

Thank you

(

for
helping
me 
)
.
--alexgeorge

Now that you're back

You have left me

a

lone

and

while

alone

I faced the music

I listened

for the first time

to the lyrics

that hit so close to home

and inspired

me

made me smile

again

made me laugh

made me aware

that there is life

after you

as there was

before you.

now you are back with your confident smile—

                                                                                        ----but I have my own now.

Thank you. 

Afrodisiac

when i first saw you
something in me clicked
as if something was out of place
like an old al green song I had never heard before;
somehow I knew the harmony.
i didn't say a word,
but i touched your hand
and suddenly I am  back to a time when our great grandparents were conceived
-fertilized forcefully by the seed of some european plantation owner,
or locksmith,
or minister--
you're crying,
but your tears are falling from my eyes as well
and I try to change the subject by recalling
 the memory of  secretly meeting you in the pantry of a very large mansion in West Memphis,
us kissing and holding each other in the darkness as quickly and as much as we could before getting caught  by one of the other house niggers.
thinking he was doing the right thing,
until he got auctioned off and traded in for 2 younger house niggers and a young girl
a week later.
and i didn't say another word.
we don't know each other
but we both shared the fact that our parents were born from the children of mothers  that couldn't sit at the front of the bus,
tired from a long day of cleaning houses and raising kids,
they came home too tired to raise their own
and i didn't say another word.
our blackness unifies us under the same differences for which we are mistreated by the mainstream.
you're crying again,
but I don't want you to cry
I need you to be strong because you are the mother of our future children
and in case I get lynched  for being accused of even looking in the direction of a white girl
//
my sons
my daughters will need you
I need you to be the strong beautiful brave black woman you were before during and after
me....
but that won't happen
I ain't goin no where
because I'll be looking in the opposite direction.

lookin' at you.

and helpin' you.
lookin' at you.

I suppose

about the lips
those lips /your
lips
you/they
amaze me
those    lips
can multitask:
there is no imitation of love
of life in those lips
how
they
have nibbled
met
whispered
sweet
reminders
i am your man
your man
a man
yours
they’re on the real:
rising above my earlobes
up
through the ear
u carress my lips with a tender
                                       delicate softness
                                       after
tearing
some     1  else
down to size
like a mother cat
protecting her kittens
&
without your having to say the words,
you protect that which you love-
I suppose that would be
Me

Let's get lost

i was listening to your chet baker cd
my funny va-
lentine
2 day
on the way home;
not listening
but blasting it so loud
so loud
i couldn’ t hear myself think
about the stressful moments of 2day
then
chet’s trumpet said letsgetlost—
                                             --something in the trumpet
                                             --something in the song
              made u pop in my head
& i smiled
4 the first time
since I woke up this morning
& saw you
next to me.
& i smiled.
4 the first time

(
    can’t wait 2 get home 2 u

singing

the chaka khan version

)

--Alexgeorge

Acknowledgement

"I'm here,

single

having arrived:

I'm not what you've been looking 4,

but I know who I am-

I'm for you;

sent for you

(i

was)

destined:

hopefully

you won't dismiss me

before I'm recognized by someone else

as their love

instead of yours.

The intended " 

--from Designer Strait Jackets & other Short Stories, by Alexgeorge

A man like me

(translated in english)

I’m ready-

perhaps I am not,

perhaps I just think I’m ready-

perhaps God isn’t ready for me to be ready.

just yet.

or

I’m ready,

and the woman He has for me

is still being designed.

perhaps she is going through a crisis

or needing to go through crises

with men who will not treat her right

and perhaps,

she has to learn to want or appreciate

a man who will treat her right.

a good man.

a man like me.

and then perhaps

hopefully

 He will make me available

to her

(or her to me)

then.

That’s what I’m beginning to think.

--alexgeorge

Un homme m'aiment

Je suis prêt peut
être je ne suis pas peut
être je pense juste que
je suis prêt peut
être Dieu n'est pas prêt pour que
je soit prêt juste encore.
ou Je suis prêt,
et la femme qu'il prend
pour moi est conçu toujours.
peut-être elle passe par une crise
ou devant passer par des crises
avec les hommes qui ne traiteront
 pas sa droite et doit apprendre
à vouloir ou apprécier un homme
qui traitera sa droite.
un bon homme.
un homme m'aiment.

et puis peut-être
 si tout va bien
 Il me rendra disponible
à elle
 (ou elle à moi)
 puis.

Est ce ce que je commence à penser.
--alexgeorge

Loving you is like a revolution

(within me

   ) a change

i can feel

but i can’t see

a movement

a revival of sorts;

slowly bringing back to life something I thought was dead

or unused for so long that it had closed up

loving you is like a revolution

a spinning around in my head

a new heart

to replace the old one that had hardened

from prolonged exposure to the cold, lies and bs and the lack of appreciation.

and suddenly I’m loving what I used to hate

and hating what I used to love

I don’t care that I’m wearing clothes I don’t like, obviously,

or spending hours with you at the mall

or going to your church

because I’m with you and loving you;

what am I doing and who is this person that made this new change?

this is not like me;

what is happening?

I know what it is-

I’m being loved and cherished and appreciated and respected in return.

(fin-

ally)

New Position

u appear to me

in my dreams

you disappear

clashing in my stubborn thoughts;

I’m

set in my ways,

but

if

you

really care

you will

dig deep

        deep enough

        deep deep enough

u will find some flexibility

in me

loving you-

I do love you.

I’m not pretending not to care.

if given another chance

i will find another way

to love you

i’ll change up

will move through

underneath the flesh of starving talk

over

through 

the movement

under

will champion the pain the fierceness the attitude the mistrust the hurt

looking

for understanding .

          to look for the love

for me

you say

exists.

i will find a new way to love you

i will find a  new position

if love

came knocking on my door
i would not
recognize it
&
it might come in,
under the guise of something else,
a million a thousand a hundred and one times
somehow knowing what I find appealing
in words and deeds-
i receive her words
like that insurance salesperson with her foot
in the door before
you shut it.

was it the look of desperation that they saw?
&
if love
came knocking on my door
i would not
recognize it
&
 it might come in,
under the guise of something else
not well-meaning:

something
i might be convinced i needed.
a dream
reaching with the outstretched hand
for that which probably
did not exist
but anyway,
reaching,
grasping
something with the substance
equal to air
always:
invisible
but heavy
under the weight of something artificial or lacking in value or importance
to make one think that's all there is:
consciousness.
to be honest .
but i'm told it /love
is available to anyone who asks for it.
true?

if so, then where are you?

see me waving my arms?
--alexgeorge

Look but don't look.

love.

love.
love!
…LOVE?
ready set
GO!
 
N


 the opposite direction
(since the other 1
isn’t working
)   the widened left eye
closed
for repairs.


Slits cut open for the right eye to breath.
to see.
the outstretched hands
heavy.
now
covering the ears
to prevent the hearing of words from both sides of the mouths of those concerned:


 Look.
  stop looking. 
Look. 
 stop looking. 
Look. 
 stop looking. 
 Look.
  stop looking. 
 Look.
stop looking.
  Look.

                                                                                     stop looking.
  Look. 

 stop looking. 

 Look.

  stop looking. 
 Look. 
 stop looking. 
 Look.
 stop looking.
  Look. 
 let it find you- be patient.
but keep looking. but stop.
                                                                      I'm concerned about you.  
                                                                      I have no one to introduce you to,
                                                                      though

keep looking.
stop.
                                                       I'm giving up on you.
                                                       you need to hurry up.
                                                       you need to put it in God's hands
                                                       you're not getting any younger
                                                       hurry up and take your time and find it



/    love.  /
not a priority any-
more
or
right now


(yes it is)

-- alexgeorge

where

Your love once
overwhelmed me

made me laugh

giggling nervously

so deep inside

internal

close

anticipating

bleeding though me/

(    it would   

   ) leaving scars

made me cry

when I stood my ground

you walked away

taking with you

my love

where did you go with it

used to make me laugh

I'm alone now

I think I even miss the things you did that made me put up with you

(where's a blues song—

 when you need one?)

Why

where did you go

with my love in one hand
 

your fist in the other?

--alexgeorge

Beautiful Thangs

 

instead

of being pulled

down

by

the weight of pollution

jobs

bills

people-

close the door.

turn off the lights

close the curtains

don’t look out the window

remember

b4

when we were startled

away

from what made our hearts break

?

a kiss from u

is a thousand tiny suns going off

on each strand of hair

each limb

each finger-

tip

a-

gain;

what made us new

make us new again

lets talk about think about

beautiful things

beautiful thoughts

u

thoughts me

us & we

lets talk about think about

what i find in u

and u

in me.

close the door

&

Talk about

Think about

Those tiny suns

--alexgeorge

soultight

While there are those
who,
without thinking,
will gladly lift both hands
to help someone in need,
there are those
who
will bearly lift a finger
(the middle one)
&
those are the relatives

--alexgeorge

the yes

the goal:
your smile is
very like
words to a song

existing
in languages
other than english

can be sung
you know the meaning
&
u smile

keys materializing
fitting
doors opening

light
scattered throughout the darkness
collected


as
I keep on singing
learning the secrets of u

The Last Thing She Said

She said she won't take anymore shit
Off one more nigga/
Got herself a pistol
She's ready to pull the trigger/
Will not give another man
A chance/
I took her to a dance/
She ran into her ex/
Who gave her the best sex.
He used to rock her world
But he was with another girl.
She saw them standing there
And she didn't even care.
I said, "don't bother him.
She said, "but I love him.
My heart's beating so fast.
And I said,

but didn't you tell me
he used to beat your ass?
She said, "but I love him without a doubt.
And I said, " but didn't he knock your teeth out?
She said, "but I love him til the day I die,
And I said, " but didn't he give you a black eye?
She said, "but I love him. He makes my heart race.
And I said, " but didn't he carve that scar across your face?
She said, "but I love him. He makes me weak at the knees.
And I said, " but didn't he give you that sexually transmitted disease?
She said, "but I love him. This nigga is heaven sent!
And I said, " but didn't he lock you out of your own apartment, where you pay the rent?
She said, "but I love him, this aint no joke.
And I said, " but didn't he pimp your 14 year-old daughter just to get some coke?
She said, "but I love him. What are you stressing me for?
And I said, " but didn't he fracture your jaw?
She said, "but I love him. What part don't you understand?
And I said, " but didn't you catch him in bed with another man?
Then she said something stupid.
"But I love him."
(may she rest in peace)

--alieux casey-george

For a friend of mine who passed away in 1994. The last time I saw her alive was the only time she didn't have a black eye.

Necessary

if love

came knocking on my door

i would not

recognize it

            &     it might come in,

under the guise of something else,

a million a thousand a hundred and one times

somehow knowing what I find appealing

in words and deeds-

i receive her words

like that insurance salesperson with her foot

in the door before

you shut it.

was it the look of desperation that they saw?

&

if  love

came knocking on my door

i would not

recognize it

            &     it might come in,

under the guise of something else

not well-meaning:

something

i might be convinced i needed.

a dream

reaching with the outstretched hand

for that which probably

did not exist

but anyway, reaching, grasping

something with the substance

equal to air

always:

invisible

but heavy

under the weight of something artificial or lacking in value or importance

to make one think that's all there is:

consciousness.

to be honest .

but i'm told it /love

is available to anyone who asks for it.

true?

if so, then where are you?

see me waving my arms?

--alexgeorge

30 MPH

U said my way of loving was slow

 2 slow,

 but

my speed allows me

2 see your issues (if u have any)

 determine your lies (if u tell any)

 n their early stage of development

slowly rearing your ugly head (if u have one)

sprouting like weeds;

 there'd be no need 2 come 2 an abrupt stop.

 I can easily decide if I should leave

B4 they take root in me.

 No need 2 rush if we're meant 2b…

No need 2 rush if u're meant 4 me.

The Effects Of him

1962.
him;

don't forget the bottles
of muscatel clanking
empty

in yards of broken champagne flute glasses
and lost memories of celebratory toasts;
empty.
slobbering stammering and stuttering a language;
the C' word.
in a pitch low enough that only other alcoholics can interpret.
in a pitch high enough that only other dogs can hear.


brought into this world in handcuffs,
still I stutter;
a life in restraints.
shy by history.

(begins with a C')

him;
This giant of a man. At five feet seven.

Back in the 50's
(he,
who has been found drunk,
in ditches in Memphis)

1969
Don't bother mom;
She's busy doing twice what you're too drunk to do once.
work. love.
And he may hurt me even more when she ain't around.
I'm no fool.
I'll be quiet

(no, not me. Him. Begins with a C')
You see,
there is history in these handcuffs.
There is pain.
the truth.
there is blood,
but there are no screams-
that's for sissies.

let's not forget the small green bottles hidden in pockets of suits and winter coats at Deliverence Evangelical Church, New York, New York:
the back turned slightly.
the contents quickly swallowed while mom obliviously praise God.
but I'm praising God too,
with one eye
and I see everything
he did.
But God is omnipotent.
Praise Him!

the clapping which was not for support. ( God,
please get me out of the audience )

The "C word.
We laugh
We cry
We're in the audience
But sis has a different interpretation of what we're both observing.
/ I must have done something wrong.
apparently I must have asked to be born
to whom I was born/
before I was born
(God, remove my restraints)
Now,
Learning everything by
Listening to big bunches of nothing
From enemies who are close friends of each other
In time of need going their separate ways after bartime,
But sister, playing with dolls in the living room says 'leave my daddy alone.'
while the back of my neck is pressed down to keep my back bent over the ironing board
as the other hand holds a thick black leather belt to slam against my naked ass
while the supremes song, 'where did our love go?' is playing on the radio,
the beat-down is only shortly interrupted by the announcement that Martin Luther King Jr was just shot..

The effects of him.
of him and those damn bottles...

&
if he stood still for a minute and listened
& watched
& cared,
he could have heard the slow seeping out of what ever volume of love my little heart contained.
I petitioned.
I begged for compassion.
In between slaps and scalding hot baths.
In between humiliation, emasculation and degradation.
Cirrhosis; that's it.
The effects of him.
slap 1 across the face back hand
2 across the face slap
3 a bath in scalding water. Steam rising off the ankles.
4 slap
5 you damn sissy slap
6 damn mama's boy slap
7 slap
8 Shut up! Don't be a sissy! Slap
9 back hand slap Be a man!
10 years old.... Applause.
And.
Curtains.
End scene...

I was brought into this world in handcuffs
1962 1972 1982 1992 1996 may he rest in peace 2000 2001 2002 2003
handcuffs still on
(where's the key?)
2004
handcuffs off
--alexgeorge

Subtle Racism

i reached.

i reached,

looking for the love I thought I had;

digging.

digging through layer upon layer of your smile

to find

Nothing;

Nothing but darkness,

and a buried

bloody

wooden cross

that continues

to

burn.

--Alexgeorge